How many times have you felt that uneasiness inside, when you said ‘yes’ to something that you really did not want to do? How many times have you ignored your own wishes just to fulfill those of others? How many times have you faced discomfort while making things comfortable for others? It would be easy to guess that you’ve lost the count.

One of the sayings that all of us heard while growing up is – ‘Treat others how you would like to be treated’. And so, we try our best to help every person that comes our way. We try to not be an ‘inconvenience’ to others by putting forth our wishes. We try not to be perceived as ‘selfish’ by putting our needs in front of others. But, then why is it that the more we say ‘yes’ to everything, the less joy we experience?

The answer is simple - we don’t need to say ‘yes’ to everything. The key word is ‘everything’. The only things that deserve our ‘yes’ are things that bring more joy, more peace and more fulfillment in our lives.

“Wait, but isn’t that selfish?”

Good question. Let me be honest with you – no, it’s not. Have you heard of the saying – ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’? That’s just how simple it is. Because we have been conditioned to believe that giving more than we have makes us a good person, we forget that as humans, it is just as important for us to receive. When your own cup is full, it brings you joy to pour into those of others. When you are well rested, it is easy to be there for others. When you love yourself, it is easy to love others. When you are energized, it is way easier to cheer for others. When you have enough, it is easy to share.

“How does one know if they have enough?”

The easiest way to find out if you’re doing something for someone out of joy or out of obligation is to take a look at your feelings. Does it feel like you’re losing way more energy than you should, just by thinking about that work? Does your heart feel heavy while saying that ‘yes’? Our bodies are way smarter than we think they are. Your body will give you signs when you’re about to do something that doesn’t agree with your heart. If the answer to these questions is yes, then, you’re better off saying that ‘no’.

Remember to treat yourself the way you want to be treated. That usually takes care of everything else. When times overwhelm you, remember that you’re not alone and that help is just a call away. Feel free to use the online consultation services here at Gurgaon Clinics and we will get you in touch with the best psychiatrist in Gurgaon for you.